Teachable Moments #1 - Self-Disclosure

By self-disclosure, I mean the practice of intentionally sharing personal information that provides insight about oneself. This is not the same as self-aggrandisement, which involves sharing boastful stories intended to elevate one’s status or prowess in the eyes of others. Nor is it akin to sharing gossip with the aim of titillating or entertaining an audience. Self-disclosure helps listeners identify with the speaker on a personal level, making them think, "That could have happened to me."

As a leader, whether you are admitting to a mistake, sharing historical information about your past, or recounting an incident that reveals your inner thoughts, self-disclosure has many advantages.

1. Humility - Your ego remains at a human scale, which is precisely the right size to enable you to ask for assistance or forgiveness when needed.

2. Modelling - Demonstrate how to recover from setbacks and take the next step after making a mistake.

3. Permission - "Authorize" others to be human, make mistakes, apologise, and move on.

4. Humanness - People identify with you because they now know about your history, culture, or mindset.

5. Perspective - Illuminate the words, actions, emotions, and values that are most important.

6. Closure - Put missteps and doubts to rest and move on to more significant concerns.

7. Patience - Practise patience with yourself and learn to be more patient with others.

8. Learning - Extract some value from an incident that might otherwise be a total loss.

However, be warned that this is not a pitch to bare your soul to your teammates on a regular basis.

You should think carefully about what you share in a professional context, as well as where, when, and how to deliver it thoughtfully, and whether it will help you achieve your larger goals.

The good news is that, when used with honesty and good intentions, self-disclosure can enable you to build positive relationships with others on a very human level.