Teachable Moments #5 - Action Speaks Loudest

Teaching and coaching are two professions where you might learn the long-term impact of your efforts. If you’re fortunate, you may encounter a former student or athlete who takes the time to provide you with specific feedback about what you did for them. Receiving such comments is both gratifying and humbling.

However, the ability to impart a life lesson is not limited to these professions. Doctors, counsellors, religious and spiritual leaders, childcare providers, and managers or team leaders also have opportunities to influence the attitudes, decisions, values, ethics, and mental models that shape who we are.

All these professionals recognise that they are role models. On some level, they understand that how they do their work is more important than the work itself. It wasn’t what Mr Tan taught in my Secondary Three Humanities class that I remember, but how he taught it. Similarly, it wasn’t what Khor did as my banquet manager when I worked as a teenager that taught me about customer service; it was how he interacted with each guest at every single event.

"People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel." — Maya Angelou

Actions really do speak the loudest.

This is significant because it means that profession, title, or education doesn’t matter. All of us take actions every day; all of us make choices about how we carry out those actions. Every ordinary encounter is an opportunity to build people up or put them in their place; to enhance relationships or build walls; to be joyful and fun-filled or sour and negative; to promote creative expression or sow fear and doubt.

We see this demonstrated in the tone of our political election process. What standards of public discourse are we altering, and how will those standards devolve in the future? We observe it in our social media and wonder about the long-term effects of tying "likes" to self-esteem. There are positive examples too: peaceful demonstrations that change the conversation about race; voter registration campaigns that empower grassroots movements; socially responsible businesses that divert profits to charity.

Yes, certain work must be done, profits must be made, and specific information must be learned. But there is incredible latitude in how we work, earn, and learn. The tenor of our actions has the power to either normalise the negative or promote the positive. The exciting thing is that we have numerous daily opportunities to be role models—even if we never discover the exact life lessons we are teaching.