Teachable Moments #8 - How to handle criticism or negative feedback at work

Not everyone receive criticism with grace and that is perfectly normal. It is after all feedback about not how good you performed but rather, how poorly you did. It is a pain-point, we get it. However, not learning how to handle it and go bursting out with your own rage by reflex is what is unforgivable and actually more damaging to yourself. How can we cope then?

First

Listen to the message, not the tone. It is easy to simply take criticism wholesale and focus on how the message was delivered to you. That will get you revved up and engage in an emotional fury. When that happens, you may feel the urge to justify yourself on the spot because the criticism was spelled to you without tact. In such instance, I urge you to read a little deeper. When a supervisor says, “You spent so much time and got it all wrong! You had better use more intelligence and redo it by tonight!” it probably means, “I believed in you and while I am disappointed you did not deliver. I am giving you a second chance”.

Next

Respond, not react. Tying in from the first point, never ever try to justify yourself immediately. Take in the criticism, respond by acknowledging that you have heard it and make clarifications if necessary, so you can understand the intended message. I like to just say, “thank you” at the end because the person made the effort to share with you their thought/feeling and they might have actually pointed out a blind spot or two. Reacting at the point of receiving the criticism could cause you to be overcome by your negative emotions there and then. Think about the criticism over a night or more and then get back to the person to share objectively your thoughts about it. Chances are, there will be at least some truths to what the person said.

Consequently

If there are unqualified or unsolicited criticism coming your way, my advice is to still practice the first two points and I will add one more point to remember – everyone out there is fighting a war of their own that no one else knows of. Therefore, just treat them as feedback and work on any valid points for improvement. We are only disappointed by our own expectations – so, if you can manage your expectations of not having to be right all the time, accepting criticism could prove to be much more manageable and possibly beneficial to our growth.